An extract from the book by Jerome K. Jerome
There were four of us — George, and William Samuel Harris, and myself, and my dog Montmorency. We were sitting in my room, smoking, and talking about how bad off we were1 — bad from a medical point of view, of course.
We sat there for half an hour and described our diseases to each other. I explained to George and William Harris how I felt when I got up in the morning; and William Harris told us how he felt when he went to bed; and George gave us a clever piece of acting which illustrated how he felt in the night.
George IMAGINES he is ill, but there's never anything really wrong with him, you know. However, I have really suffered from bad health since childhood. When I was a boy, the disease hardly ever left me for a day.
My parents did not know then that it was my liver, and so they used to think it was laziness. "You lazy little devil," they would say, "get up and do something for your living!" since they didn't know that I was ill.
And they didn't give me pills; they gave me clumps2 on the side of the head. And strangely, those clumps on the head often cured me ... for a while3. Those clumps had an amazing effect on my liver, and made me go straight away then and there, and do what was wanted to be done, without further loss of time. Maybe there was something to those simple, old-fashioned remedies after all.4
At this point Mrs Poppets knocked at the door to know if we were ready for supper. We smiled sadly at one another, and said we supposed we could try to swallow a bit.
1 как плох каждый из нас
2 они давали мне подзатыльники
3 на время
4 В конце концов, может быть, что-то было в этих простых старомодных средствах.
1 Read Part II of the extract from the book by Jerome K. Jerome "Three Men in a Boat: To Say Nothing of the Dog" and answer the questions.
1. Who went on a sea trip to improve his health?
2. What did the man want to do when he got to Liverpool?
3. Who bought the return ticket? What for?
4. Is it possible to enjoy sea trip? How?
5. Why did a person on board a ship feel like Captain Cook, Sir Francis Drake, and Christopher Columbus?
6.) Have you ever done a sea trip? Did it do you any good?
we want is rest," said Harris.
"Rest and a complete change," said George.
"Well, if you want rest and change, you can't beat a sea trip,"5 said Harris.
I objected to the sea trip strongly. A sea trip does you good when you are going to have a couple of months of it, but, for a week, it is a waste of time.
You start on Monday with the idea that you are going to enjoy yourself. You wave a casual goodbye to the boys on shore, light your biggest pipe, and walk about the deck as if you were Captain Cook, Sir Francis Drake, and Christopher Columbus all rolled into one. On Tuesday, you wish you hadn't come.6 On Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, you wish you were dead.7 On Saturday, you are able to swallow a little tea, and to sit up on deck, and answer with a weak smile when kindhearted people ask you how you feel now. On Sunday, you begin to walk again, and take solid food. And on Monday morning, with your bag and umbrella in hand, you wait to step ashore, you begin to really like it.
My brother-in-law once went for a short sea trip to improve his health. He took a return ticket from London to Liverpool; and when he got to Liverpool, the only thing he wanted to do was to sell that return ticket.
It was offered to everybody and was eventually sold for eighteen pence to a young man, who had just been advised by his doctor to go to the seaside, and take exercise.
"Seaside!" said my brother-in-law and pressed the ticket into his hand. "You'll have enough to last you a lifetime." He himself— my brother-in-law — came back by train. He said the Northwestern Railway was healthy enough.
5 Если уж нам нужен отдых и перемена обстановки, то лучше всего морское путешествие.
6 Во вторник вы жалеете, что отправились в плавание.
7 В среду, четверг и пятницу вы жалеете, что не умерли.
So I was against the sea trip. Not, as I explained, because of myself. I have never been seasick, but I was afraid for George. George said he would be all right, but he would advise Harris and me not to think of it, as we would both be ill. But then George said: "Let's go up the river." He said we would have fresh air, exercise and quiet; the constant change of scene would occupy our minds (including what there was of Harris's 8, and the hard work would give us a good appetite, and make us sleep well.
Harris said he didn't think George ought to do anything that would make him sleepier than he always was, as it might be dangerous. He said he didn't very well understand how George was going to sleep any more than he did now, as there were only twenty-four hours in each day. Harris said, however, that the river would suit him. It suited me too, and Harris and I both said it was a good idea of George's. We made a list of the things that we were going to need. On the next day, which was Friday, we got all of the things from the list together, and met in the evening to pack.
8 включая и ту малость (разума , которой обладал Гаррис